There are many things unsaid,unexplored and untold…my heart keeps telling me different stories but I easily press Right click and Ignore. I got hurt when someone * my hubby to be* told me and mimicked “Don’t be feudal. I don’t like it”. I am not and I know it. I am just not trained to walk in the crowded markets. Especially when I am wearing Western outfit. I am not feudal, I am just shy. I am not feudal, I am just coward. I don’t have the courage to walk the street when all men sitting on the sides stare at me, when I can read the message in their eyes and the lust…They don’t need to call me names, their body language is enough for me.
I remember I must be around 6 or 7. I went with my mom to one of these markets in the Islamic Republic. Many of these men walking on the street rubbed me, pinched me and felt me while walking. What could I do? I stopped walking on these streets.
My mom pushed me many times to go with her to markets. She started calling me lazy bones. My friends love going to markets and shop around and can bargain for hours. But I can’t do that. I could never go to any Carneval or any other over-crowded fun places. What I prefer is, neat and clean, less crowded places. I go buy my stuff and come back home. Or sit in the car and someone else go out and fetch the stuff I need.
If this makes me feudal in his eyes then my heart says let it be!